Saturday, September 18, 2010

Bedtime thoughts....

I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Psalm 40:1-4 KJV

Tonight as I was cruising around Facebook, I came across this verse that someone had posted. And it really spoke to me. I've been feeling kind of "down in the dumps" the past couple days. Attending a few pity parties...alone of course. Moping around the house. And generally just feeling sorry for myself.
It might have to do with the lovely "gift" Mother Nature likes to bring aroud every month. But a lot of it has to do with my heart. I've been letting it go towards dark places. Sad places. Loitering in places it should not.
I've been feeling like all I do is take care of kids (don't get me wrong on this one...I LOVE my kids, and actually wish I could just spend more time with them playing and having fun), trying to figure out how to make healthy meals that everyone will actually EAT, cleaning, laundry, yard work, and blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! And indeed these things are on my job description of homemaker, but I have begun to drift into the other lane. The lane of selfish thinking. Where I forget to have a joyful heart and cheerfully serve the wonderful family that God has blessed me with. This is my job as a wife and mother. It is my duty. It is my ministry. I have been blessed with such a great service, and I have turned it into drugdery. Because I have taken my eyes off my Lord and put them on me. And I am not strong enough to help myself get through the day. I cannot save myself from drowning in all that is overwhelming.
But HE can. And HE is there. HE hears my cries for help. HE pulls me up onto solid ground. Because of HIM I can have a song in my heart. I must put my trust in HIM. Not in the lies of my selfish heart.
I feel like I am going to bed much happier than I woke up. All because of this reminder from HIS precious, holy word. I do have a new song in my heart! And though I know this doesn't mean I will never swerve into the other lane, my hope is renewed tonight. My perspective is back where it should be. And hopefully it will be easier and easier to keep my eyes on HIM. My Savior. The ONE who pulls me up when I am down. My trust is in HIM!!!

(Disclaimer: It is 10 o'clock at night and I have been running on little sleep the past few days. Not sure if any of this made any sense . But I guess it doesn't have to. It made sense to me. In my heart. I do pray that somehow you might be blessed as well. Even if my writing is confusion, I pray that HE can make order out of it.)

Good Night!

1 comment:

  1. What a powerful post! Sounds like you are working it out, and are on the right path. I hope you are finding joy in your day today. Blessings, Michelle